Jack White - Love Interruption

Really who hasn't felt like this...?

These lyrics are wonderful.

Perhaps with the exception of  "I want love to murder my own mother, take her off to somewhere, like hell or up above...."

Change

There is more change in the air than you could poke a stick at.  Makes for quite exhausting but never dull times. I suppose I go along with expectations of what the future will look like and recently it has been like a big dipper roller coaster ride of bumps and changes off course, and things popping up that I never ever expected to see in my life.  Not MY life.  Someone elses maybe.  Not MINE.

Anyway, in my role of "Parent of a Potential Rock Star" - I dutifully went to Hot Damn! on Thursday night to see Curt play.  They were amazingly good.  God to be 20 again.  It was good to see this place I had heard so much about, because "nightclubs" are a whole nother world in my life, but this place was almost identical to the dumps we frequented when we were in our teens.  To call it a nightclub is being kind.  But the atmosphere was great for the kids, everyone seemed to be having a great time, expressing themselves in their own quaint little way (moshing and flailing their arms wildly like someone half wise and jumping on each other AND at one point someone jumped on the lead singer, brought him to the ground and started rolling around the stage with him - the both emerged smiling, so I guess that is part of the show, who am I to question such antics?). 

Training went extremely well this week with three full on weights workouts and some interval training on the tready each time.  Now that I only weigh myself once a week, I was keen to see what was doing on the scales, given my tummy appears flatter and other wobbly bits are less wobbly.  So to see half a kilo register on the scales was pretty rewarding.  I am absolutely loving the weight training.  I still love my little runs too, I love that early morning run feeling too and I hope I never lose that, but the weights are so damn REWARDING.  And I don't feel like I could eat for Ireland afterwards.  And I love Matthu, he is a funny, kind and very helpful personal trainer.  He puts up with my grunting and giggling and changing session times every five minutes so I can fit in work and play and he never complains.  Plus he appears to be helping me getting the body I want so how could I not like him?

So - this week has been typical really.  Ups and downs.  Some very sad times, some good times, some wonderful news, labradors and weight training, music and vodka and all the other stuff I get up to. And SORE LEGS!  Good sore legs. 

Legs

Hurty legs.  Very hurty legs.  That eejit had me pushing out 140kg today.  But fuck it felt great afterwards.  Also I am doing the Dukan Diet.  So that means meat, meat and more meat.  With some eggs.

Today I felt all flu-ey and virusey.  Strangely after my leg session (honestly, Matthu my PT should consider midwifery, it is much the same line of work, all that grunting and groaning and calling him a bastard and then getting the giggles) I felt much better.  By teatime the virusy effect was back.  So got home and was supposed to have, surprise, surprise, MEAT for dinner.  After exploding a little bit of chicken all over the five hundred year old microwave in my flat, I decided to have a protein shake instead.  A little bit over meat.  So, the protein shake that is King of all protein shakes was made.  Chocolate protein powder, pure cocoa powder (which I managed to pour all over myself, if you are ever stuck for face powder, it doesn't look half bad once you rub it in,  but the smell is a bit of a giveaway) and a dollop of low fat cream (it has almost zero sugar but tastes sooooo decadent) and of course ice cubes.  I honestly considered adding a wee bit of vodka and pretending it was a wee cocktail, but refrained.  Only because I like to take my vodka in the bath, with pepsi (in the vodka, not the bath) and have a good book in my hand.  Although that always poses the dilemma of when to brush your teeth.  In the bath, before the vodka is finished?  Or wait till the voddie is down the hatch and hope you remember to do it later?  Dilemmas of a modern life.....

Anyway, at the weekend I had two wonderful runs.  One around the surrounds of the harbour, Kirribilli and Lavender Bay and one around the mountains with Simon.  Saturdays run was in the rain which I love.  Sunday was the perfect running morning, with fabulous company and just the best way to start the day.  I am devoting this week to my training.  Except for Thursday night when I am just carrying out my parental duties and attending "Hot Damn!" in Kings Cross where my erstwhile son is playing a gig.  A very heavy hardcore metal gig.  Should be fun :)

Shapewear

What an oxymoron.  Shapewear.

It should be banned.

Have this thing on that can only be described as a very tight slip.  Petticoat type thing, except EXCRUCIATINGLY tight.  In order to hold in places that aren't normally held in.  Like tummies and arse.

Well, it was a cold day, I was wearing a perfectly nicely fitting Leona Edmiston frock and I thought a bit of extra holding in wouldn't go amiss -  and anyway, it was cold.

Mistake.

These contraptions make you a freaking PECULIAR shape.

Firstly, I soon discovered I had four boobs, whereas previously I had two, nicely symmetrical, in the right place and if I do say so myself, a decent shape.  Not after Shapewear had its way with me.  Oh no.  Whilst my quantity has increased two fold, the quality is distinctly lacking.  Each one pillowy, with bits poking out in odd directions and generally making me look at bit like a Picasso, except not as funky.

Then there was the tummy and bum aspect.  Well this thing is a slip. It has a skirt.  Take two steps and the skirt has effectively ridden up to my waist, bunched up there and become a peculiar looking hump on my lower back and a suspect looking bundle of something on my waist, offset by whatever isn't being held in around my waist to be poking out hopefully underneath. This WASN'T exactly the look I was seeking.  Especially not in a figure hugging dress - a dress that challenges back fat, and tummies, and boobs and the like, with its only saving grace a pattern that confuses the eye on such matters.....

And being at a course all day I decided to bring along some sugar free lollies.  You know.  The ones that make your stomach swell up to twice its size and have you farting like a labrador for the next three days whilst your abdomen resumes from that overstuffed balloon state to its normal size?  So between the tightness of the "slip" and the excruciating wind element in my lower bowels, I spent the day pretty much in agony.

But at least I was warm.

Tomorrow, comfy knickers and a pair of stockings.  I'll let it all hang out.

Nerds

Life.  An amusing way to spend the time between higher planes.  Or coming back as a gnat.  Whatever the case may be.  I have spent the last 12 months searching.  I think that is how I would put it.  I guess the journey has been interesting, if not rather bumpy at times, and for a while I was a little confused as to what I was actually searching for.  So lots of things have happened and it has been an interesting time, with lots of gear changes and soul searching and decisions and bottles of vodka.  Have I found what I am looking for?  Maybe.  Am I going to keep searching - hell yes! There is so much more to discover in this life.   I think sometimes, instead of trying to pervert the course of "life" so to speak, you just got to let it wash over you and immerse yourself in it.  Maybe this is me learning not to worry about things.  I dunno.  This all makes perfect sense to me.  I am also learning to try and please ME and the people who are special and important, and stop trying to please everyone.  Living my life the way I want to is very important and I know now I need to be true to myself.  Keeping myself fit and healthy is a big part of this, and now that I actually have the time for a fitness routine, I am finding I am much happier and more balanced with this important aspect of life taken care of.  It has taken a little while to work all this out and I know the adventure is far from over, but all the jigsaw pieces seem to be fitting into place, although that might totally change tomorrow, because life has very much been like that recently.  I suppose I am better able to deal with it all, because I am learning now what is important and what is not. 

So - training.  What can I say?  I am LOVING being back into it.  Three great weights sessions at the gym this week with fantastic trainer man and three great little runs as well.  You know that feeling you get when it is cold and you've been running for about fifteen minutes, you are all toasty, gasping for breath and a great song comes on your iPod and you just KNOW you are alive?  I love that and have been planning my days so that I can fit in a run to get my "fix" again.  I seem to spend a lot of time in the disabled toilet in work getting ready for workouts or changed after workouts.  I have discovered an escape route that involves fire stairs and the lifts on level 9 that bypass the need to announce to everyone I am going to the gym - it just seems rude to be doing this in my lunch hour, but I guess I will get over it.....

I thought it was the formaldehyde in my makeup that was making my skin glow, but I think it might be the endorphins from all the exercise.  Interesting fact - put on some pimple cream then blowdry your hair.  You get a funny smell down your nose, like aircraft fuel.  Possibly the benzene in the pimple cream.  One sure fire way to set your hair on fire if you use too much.....

Took the Garmin out for the first time in AGES yesterday, a sure sign that the bug is kicking back in (running bug for any doubters).  I was pleased to see a negative split AND a kilometer at 5:45 pace.  Not that it means anything much but playing with numbers is one of my favourite passtimes.  Excel is my friend.  Pivot tables excite me beyond belief. 

This is the BEST album I have bought in an Ice Age.  Not a crap song on the whole album.  Brilliant to run to.  Nerds will rule the world one day you know.....

Success

Total lack of contemplation time, however, lots of training, not the running kind though.

Doing lots of weights, and suddenly, arse is getting smaller.  Todays Personal Training session was rather like childbirth.  You know that bit where he goes "go on - you can do it!" in a cheery sort of patronising way, and you just want to punch him in the face and tell him to shut the fuck up because you are in so much pain?  Well today was a bit like that. 

But, needless to say, I really enjoyed it.  In a sort of wierd, perverse way.

And felt bloody wonderful afterwards.

And, as Barry says.....anyone who is enjoying life, is a success......

Amen!