Monday, September 17, 2012

Blackmores Half

First of all, well played to the people at Blackmores, especially the photographers who had the "Fat Bastard Wide Angle / Wide Arse" lens taking the marathon photos.  Well played indeed. 

And well played to my Garmin for totally confusing me and making me think it was broken when I really WAS running at five ten and twenty and thirty and forty minute kms.  And also thank you to Garmin Connect for telling me I have "no goals".  I beg to differ.  Anyway I was very very pleased with a new PB for the half yesterday.  And I think running the Banktown (hilly) half two weeks before was a FINE idea and clearly reminded my little legs how to do it.  Really really LOVED running this half marathon, loved it.  Loved the vibe in Sydney, loved the weather, loved how I was feeling, loved sitting in the sun hanging out with my friends after, loved a few drinks at the pub telling war stories afterwards.

Loved it all and has re-ignited the whole motivation to another new level.  There is nothing like doing something physical for yourself to make you feel grrrreat! 

The only thing that was not good about the run was I forgot to have my breakfast and so I panicked a wee bit about that for about five minutes until I realised the massive mound of pasta I consumed from the night before was still ensconced in my tummy and would carry me around the course and probably around McMahons Point for the next week or so.  Think of the starving children etc.

And I had a wee bit of chubby arm chafe, and was running along thinking, "it would be bloody awesome if I came across a big jar of vaseline" and lo and behold, just outside the Overseas Passenger Terminal there was a desk, just on its own, and on top of it, yep, you guessed it, a big jar of vaseline.  So I thought "don't mind if I do" not stopping to contemplate where the fingers that had been in there had been, and lavished it on my already stinging bingo wings.  Tops!

So all that was left was to run along and do some people watching.  And with around 35,000 other runners to look at and compare myself to (speed, size of arse, clothing choice, hairstyle, tee shirt logo, etc) it was all over before it even started to hurt too much.  Which was just fine.  Except I was kinda enjoying it and to be honest, concentrating on all that stuff is much easier than sorting out your life and making the big decisions, so I would have been happy to just keep going at that point.  Although sitting in the sun watching the marathoners was great as was my bacon and egg breakfast and three (yes, only three) beers in the pub afterwards.  No point going out and doing good work and then sabotaging it.  Although it was damn tempting!

Tonight I did a pump class to get the arms hurting like the legs were.....only to find there was standing room only because clearly there is a lot of demand for a hot young attractive male pump instructor in North Sydney.  Who'd have thunk it?  Managed to squeeze in and do some fart inducing moves (what is it about lying flat on your back that encourages this kind of behaviour?.....).

So now to think of the next challenge?  Ideas on the back of a postcard to.......


Friday, September 7, 2012

Chin Tuck

So I was going to go and see the plastic surgeon about my little deposit of fat under my chin.  I tried to explain it to her and she asked me if I had a TURKEY GOBBLER!  A freaking TURKEY GOBBLER?  WTF is that?  So I made an appointment and listened to the lady tell me how I would have to be fitted for a "garment" and wear it for a week and I had a bit of pizza last night and the cheese gave me bad dreams and I dreamt about a really BAD plastic surgeon who had his music really loud to muffle the sounds of screaming, and I honest to god dreamt about old ladies getting liposuctioned in such a scary manner that I woke up and phoned and cancelled.  Phew. 

I also couldn't really imagine going into work with one of those masks you get when you play that game with swords, the name of which I cannot remember at the moment.  Fencing.  That's it.  I mean, I was planning a wee white lie, that I fell over whilst running, but really, who is going to believe that when I turn up with a mummified version of myself.  So I think the turkey gobbler stays and maybe when I am fifty they will have developed some marvellous cream that you apply to your turkey gobbler and it goes away.  I am sure that is possible.  Then you go home with a free unicorn.  I really shouldn't have had that cheese last night.