2nd "Post Normality" post...

Never underestimate being normal.  It's quite a nice place to be.  Unfortunately I swing.  Yep, I swing from very very high to very very low.  And it is actually quite scary sometimes, but sometimes I feel like never wanting those highs to go away and other times I know they are so good that they are not normal and they will lead to disaster.  So whilst being engulfed in this huge high, I am experiencing these flashbacks to reality and where I go after and I know it is going to happen, it is just a question of when.  So here I am "after".  I would dearly love to control it all but I can't.  There is NO WAY I am going to start taking drugs to manage it.  Well, at least, not yet.  I don't think.  But I am really not sure.

To be honest, I don't really know what I would have done this last two months, had it not been for running.  No idea.  I am really scared by the thought.  BUT - I am on my way back upwards now and feeling so much better and once again, the whole running thing  and all my running friends are helping. 

That's all I can say really.  So many utterly fantastic things have happened in my life this last few months, but for some reason its all been eclipsed by a horrible sense of something that I just cannot explain and that there is no reason for.  I know these phases come and I know they go and so I am just hanging in there trying to feel like Mrs Positive until it goes away and I can be me again......