The Universe

I have a bit more of an appreciation for the Universe after this week. 

It appears to just KNOW shit, and organise your life accordingly.  Well, it seems to with mine. 

It knows you are not ready for something, it withholds it.  It knows when you have done the hard work on something, it gives you what you need. 

What I will never to this day understand is frigging running injuries.

I need my running right now.  I need it for mental health and what happens?  Haven't been injured in a year and half and suddenly I have injuries coming out of my arsehole. 

What's that about?

Achilles - niggling to nagging.  Back - totally fucked.  Hip - all round aching.

All was going so well and all of a sudden, life shifts a gear, things start to get better and the one and only thing that has been able to carry me through the last few months gives up on me.  I've signed up for camps, I've committed to races, I'm worried and I'm sad but most of all I am scared.  What happens to my weekends if I can't run?  I simply can't contemplate that.

I might have to get a cat. 

And teach it the salsa. 

Fark.

 

Work!

Blue Mountains Joggers 10km today - bloody hell, a while since I have run on the road (Narrabeen All Nighter was the last time) and it hurt hurt hurt!!!  Plus it is full of hills.  And I came third last so that was just wonderful ;)  Anyway, I'm trying to remember to wear my heart rate monitor so I gauge better what is happening - how many calories I am using, what my heart rate is doing etc.  I wish it could tell me what is wrong with my freaking hip!  So sore.  But then I was complaining about my lungs this morning and Fi (theatre nurse) goes - show me where it is sore - so I did, and she seemed to think it was my liver, which was odd, why would that be sore????  Nothing to do with getting scuttered on vodka with Louise on Friday night I am sure.  Anyway I have put on 1.5kilos since Xmas and I am not a happy camper.  So I've joined up to myfitnesspal to work out how to lose it.  It was all going swimmingly on Friday when I sneaked in extra walking, ate mainly vegetables and did everything right.  Until after our walk, and our healthy dinner, I proceeded to get stuck into the vodka.  Its not really the calories that bothered me, it was the crazy thoughts going through my head, my perceived need to express my feelings on social media and my desire to call someone totally inappropriate in the hope of letting them know how well I was doing without them.  Arrrrghhhh!!  AND then the next day the need for pasta for breakfast, salt and vinegar chips and pizza for dinner.  Dieting doesn't get more unsuccessful than yesterday I can tell you.  I did manage to get out for a day in the Southern Highlands with Mountain Climber Man and have a swim in a river which made me feel much much much better.  So this week there will be a cap on the vodka consumption and I'm calling two normal drinks per night.  Not the whoppers I decided I wanted on Friday night.  And no wine on weekdays.  Actually no wine ever again would be awesome, but that's never going to happen....
I did really like what I did with my running last week though.  After Knapsack I was quite sore, but got up the next day for a run with Ian and Rach.  Ran every day last week, only short 5km runs, but keeping the legs ticking over.  I felt good physically and most importantly, mentally.  So might keep up the momentum with that. 
So myFitnessPal tells me I have 1,142 calories left to consume today.  That's awesome because to lose 5kg I have to eat 1,200 a day, but if I run, I can take those calories off my total.  So my run "cost" negative 470 calories, which is perfect, because I'm going out for dinner tonight with MM.  So I'm off to google how much wine, pizza and garlic bread I can have for that.  The obsessive compulsive in me loves this shit but unfortunately once there is a nice Reisling down my throat I conveniently forget I am dieting, so I need to remind myself.  Maybe I need to buy myself some jewellery, like a ring, a dieting ring, that reminds me not to overindulge.  Good excuse to go shopping.  Yay!!!