Resuming Life in General

Things got a wee bit ugly there for a while, Lord,  life can be difficult.  However I am now trying to be "normal" again.  I think I am getting there.  Some days I do better than others.  In summary, all the stuff that was happening over the last few months seemed to come to a head at once, and lots of sad things happened too.  My dad got really sick and sadly passed away 2 weeks ago.  That was difficult, in my previous life as someone charmed where nothing bad had ever happened (until Saturn came to visit, or 2010 happened, whichever way you chose to look at it) I had never known anyone close to me to die.  Except, like, my one eared cat.  So being so far away was awful.  At first, he got really sick and we all thought it was serious.  Then he got better and we all (niaively) thought it was all going to be ok.  By the time we realised it wasn't, it was close to the end.  So we spent about three weeks pretty much waiting.  So for about three weeks I had at least three middle of the night conversations every night.  Not all good, you know how familes get.  There was all that guilt trip stuff about not coming home (I had my reasons not to) and all those updates where our hopes were raised but we knew in our hearts that this was it.  And besides, dad told me the last time I spoke to him that he didn't want to live like this any more.  He suffered for over two years after his heart operation and he is now at peace.  So - you gotta move on from these things.  At first it was a terrible shock, despite the fact we knew it was coming.  I took some time off work but didn't know what had hit me.  I slept and slept and slept.  I did make an effort to get out one day.  Dad loved the ocean and as kids he had a speedboat and took us all around Strangford Lough in it, he scuba dived and collected stuff and we bobbed around in our life jackets.  He had the oldest skool surfboard I have ever seen, it was wooden, and torquoise.  We eventually put some kitchen handles on it and made it into a makeshift sleigh.  We saw more snow than surf in those days.  It was so light it went like a rocket and was a bit of a danger to man and beast.  Anyway, prior to getting the news of dads passing, I had organised a day taking surf lessons with a friend.  At first I cancelled it.  But then I thought, what am I going to do all day at home?  So I went and it was absolutely freezing and to me the waves were massive but it was fun and silly and the sort of thing dad used to do and would have encouraged. 

Anyway I am back at work now.  My plan is simple.  At least three runs a week.  More if I can.  As much other stuff as I can fit in.  Back to the PT class.  Try to make as much effort as possible to do positive things.  Example.  Tomorrow night is the Twilight Cool Running 5km at the Regatta Centre.  Tomorrow night a friend has invited me for a few drinks and dinner.  Twilight wins, it does not involve late nights, alcohol or missing the last train because I wanted one more glass of champagne and getting stuck in the city, then waking up in her house, hungover and wasting Saturday too.  (Not that I would do all that of course, but well, I might....).  Saturday - swimming laps with a friend who is a good influence in terms of fitness and then breakky with him.  Sunday, long hike in National Park with the gorgeous Jen, our PT class leader.  All good clean pursuits that will keep me busy, stop me thinking negatively and help get my fitness back to where it was what seems like light years ago.