Getting Better....

8km run.  Ankles hurt.  They are taking it in turns to torture me.  But I expect that from them at this time of year, so I persevere. Not one snake sighting, except on the floor of my laundry, which was a blue sweetie snake that fell out of my camelbak, so no worries there.  Except I did get tangled in a twig on the trails and kinda got all panicked that I was being attacked by a snake or a mongoose or something.  Muttering to myself about being attacked by a farking snake / twig at precisely the same time as the only other people I saw on the trail walked past me.  Subdued sniggers from them.  More muttering from me. Then a leaf got caught on the toe of my shoe and I was convinced it was some kind of creature.  These are all good ways of forgetting about a throbbing toothache that I am TELLING myself will go away.  Soon.

1.5km swim with the Pool Nazi's.  I'm in the farking slow lane people.  You don't have to swim over the top of me....shoulders very sore, as that is 1.5km two days in a row now.  But felt totally awesome afterwards.

Some weights.  Well, 100 squats with the bar loaded up as much I could get it.  And some dicky arm movements to try and get rid of my bingo wings.  All eating going according to plan.  So it's all good.

Boot Camp Fail

Back from holidays today.  The idea was to treat it as a mini boot camp with lots of activities (and resulting increased fitness, and of course, the ever sought after weight loss).  But this is me we are talking about and of course that didn't really happen.  I did run three days out of the holiday, and managed a couple of bike rides, but I also did an inordinate amount of lying around reading and generally contemplating my navel.  Which, as we know, is not the fat blasting workout of the serious athlete.  And whilst I ate healthily (except for that fresh cream laden Irish Coffee) I came home thinking there was a bit of a wasted opportunity.  Anyway, off to Glenbrook Pool this afternoon for a "work out some frustration" 1.5km swim.   Came home to find the boys had purchased a new concoction - this thing looked for all intents and purposes like pizza (it was round, in a box and had stuff on the top) but upon closer inspection, the stuff on the top was kebab meat.  Urrrrghhhh!  Isn't that why kebabs are all wrapped up, so you don't have to SEE the meat?  Blerrrgh! 

So I have now realised I have five more days off until I go back to work.  This is indeed good news and means I can commence boot camp properly.  There, I said it, so I have to do it.  And also (insert loud drumroll here) - I am going to attempt Dry January again, after last years rip snorter of a success. Yes, January has 31 days and yes I managed to go 16 of them without drinking, and yes it was all easy and I was feeling very smug until faced with the cocktail menu on a tropical island in the pacific ocean.  No likelihood of my current role taking me to a tropical island with endless free cocktails, so now is as good a time as any to start.  And yes I know December hasn't finished yet, but as far as I am concerned it has.  Lets get on with this new year business and forget 2011.

Which reminds me.  I got a "present" in the mail today, and I am not quite sure what to do with it.  My mum has sent me a cd (or perhaps it is a dvd) of dads funeral.  I was a bit shocked when I opened it.  I am not sure if it is a listening thing, or a watching thing.  Given that everyone uses iPods these days, not only would I recommend funeral parlours doing a handy podcast, but I just can't think of where all the cd players in the house have gone.  Into that black vortex of Curtis' bedroom, never to be seen again.  So I have an image in my head of me flying around in my little car, roof down, listening to..... a funeral service.  I dunno, but the idea of it just makes me want to giggle and then be very cross at myself for being so politically incorrect.

I need to move to the beach

Today was just fab.  It is Christmas Eve and I woke up in the beach house to the sound of birds and boats. 

I lay on Terrigal Beach and alternated between languishing in the sun and reading my book, and frolicking in the surf.  My ultimate dream Xmas Eve is frolicking in the surf, so hey, guess what, I got my ultimate Xmas Eve dream come true. 

I am starting to think that perhaps Thursdays downer was silly.  All is fine.  All is going to be fine.  It is just going to take time.  And effort.  And patience. 

One minute a rooster....

....the next a feather duster.

Dog ate all my chocolates.  Probs a good thing as chocolate makes you fat and gives you pimples and I've got enough of both.  She unwrapped the wrapping paper, got the cellophane off and unwrapped the silver paper all whilst I was in the shower.  I came back to find her up on my bed, licking her chops, looking a little sheepish and a little satisfied.  Buffy the Brave.  She'll probably be Buffy the Very Fecking Sick tomorrow.  Which bodes well for a two hour car journey.  I'm predicting watery poos.

Anyway all my positive vibes have disappeared down the toilet.  I am not sure what happened really.  Still, I have a week at the beach, with a bike, the surf, and two legs to run.  Wee bit of sun, the company of young Curtis and of course Buffy the wonder dog and it will all be ok.  It always is. 

Our deepest fears.....

....are like dragons guarding our deepest treasures.

And that is so true.

I am just thankful for all the good things that have happened lately and I am so positive about the future.

And that isn't even post run euphoria talking.  Or even vodka.  My Saturday run angered Mr Achilles to the point I couldn't risk it Sunday.  So Sunday I managed 1.6km in the pool.  Yeah me.  Swimming.  1.6km.  In one go.  Without stopping.  hahahahaha.

Then I was still jumping from foot to foot so I took the bike out for 20km.  It took about 45 mins and probably about a thousand calories and countless back muscles to pump up the tyres, despite my new fangled pump I bought in the winter, once used.  Problem was, I forgot the key aspect of UNSCREWING the wee lid thing on the poky out bit of the tyre.  No wonder my face was getting red, I was panting and the tyre was staying flat.  But no matter, it is in the long term memory now, no need to remind myself.  Except I was reminded about the time, not that long ago, that I forgot how my gears worked and I rode for 10.8km in a really hard gear, thinking, "this bike riding lark is harder than I remember" until I remembered that thing that looks like a break is actually a gear changing thingy and you can drop down a gear, and yeah, well ....most normal people know this shit....

Anyway.  I liked the weeekends activities.  Last night I had to work till 10pm standing in the rain watching fecking eejits tell me they couldn't read a number plate when it would have been clear to fecking Stevie Wonder what was on the plate.  So no running Monday.

Clarity

Went for a run today in the rain.  Love running in the rain, and today I had a moment of total clarity.  Suddenly everything made sense, and to the sounds of "Killing in the Name Of" I realised something that explains so much in my life.  See, I knew I ran for a reason.  I suppose the first step is understanding yourself and your behaviours and then working out what you want to do about it.  I guess grief makes you think about things in your life you otherwise wouldn't normally explore.  It's been a really odd month, my life seems to be taking a new direction, which I am not entirely unhappy with.  We'll see where it ends up.... :)

In terms of running, I am back running regularly over the last two weeks and I cannot describe how much better it has been making me feel.  Mentally and physically.  This week I have managed four runs, which I am fine with, plus a couple of weights sessions.  Feeling good although the achilles is a wee bit upset and needs some TLC.  At least now I know how to manage it and know it will take a few weeks of nurturing and it will get better.

I have proved to myself over the last few weeks that despite the travel I do, and the hours I work, I can still train.  So no excuses me!!

Now off to get gussied up for a dinner with my gorgeous and funny girlfriend!

Lots to be grateful for....

This week was GREAT! 

Made an effort to get out and do things, so getting back into the swing of fitness once more (I've had more comebacks than someone who has had a lot of comebacks.  I can't think of anyone appropriate right now.  Well, Gary Glitter springs to mind, but the least said about him the better). 

Anyway, Monday - I got on the biggest DIY manual in the world, YouTube and looked up "fast efficient workouts" and got some  man doing a ten minute workout that looked like fun.  Lots of burpees, squat jumps and the like.  Gave it a go and did some weights too.

Wednesday we ran around the river with Yvonne and Kelly and did some weights together in the park like a pack of eejits.  Thankfully by the time the run was over it was dark so we didn't have anyone watching us doing our thang.

Thursday I ran round the river before PT class and Friday I ran with the Cool Running Twilight gang. 

Saturday morning I went on an "adventure date" and swam 30 laps of Parramatta Pool (50 metre pool, that's 1.5km for those with the calculators out) and then had a gorgeous breakfast in a Cuban style cafe.

And finally this morning we hiked for three hours in the National Park and climbed down from Glenbrook to Erskine Creek via Jack Evans Track, something I had wanted to do for a long time, and was rewarded with gorgeous views and the most gorgeous morning out.  I didn't do anything crazy or over strenuous so my body feels good and more importantly my head feels good too. 

The boys in work have been at me to come with them for a run and to some stairs they like to run up and down.  Sounds like a challenge so I'll bring my stuff next week.  I am amazed and disappointed at how porky I have become after a few weeks of unenthusiastic running.  Well, try two months of unenthusiastic running.  However I am now enthused again, both for my mental state and to ensure my impressive dress collection does not become redundant. 

Resuming Life in General

Things got a wee bit ugly there for a while, Lord,  life can be difficult.  However I am now trying to be "normal" again.  I think I am getting there.  Some days I do better than others.  In summary, all the stuff that was happening over the last few months seemed to come to a head at once, and lots of sad things happened too.  My dad got really sick and sadly passed away 2 weeks ago.  That was difficult, in my previous life as someone charmed where nothing bad had ever happened (until Saturn came to visit, or 2010 happened, whichever way you chose to look at it) I had never known anyone close to me to die.  Except, like, my one eared cat.  So being so far away was awful.  At first, he got really sick and we all thought it was serious.  Then he got better and we all (niaively) thought it was all going to be ok.  By the time we realised it wasn't, it was close to the end.  So we spent about three weeks pretty much waiting.  So for about three weeks I had at least three middle of the night conversations every night.  Not all good, you know how familes get.  There was all that guilt trip stuff about not coming home (I had my reasons not to) and all those updates where our hopes were raised but we knew in our hearts that this was it.  And besides, dad told me the last time I spoke to him that he didn't want to live like this any more.  He suffered for over two years after his heart operation and he is now at peace.  So - you gotta move on from these things.  At first it was a terrible shock, despite the fact we knew it was coming.  I took some time off work but didn't know what had hit me.  I slept and slept and slept.  I did make an effort to get out one day.  Dad loved the ocean and as kids he had a speedboat and took us all around Strangford Lough in it, he scuba dived and collected stuff and we bobbed around in our life jackets.  He had the oldest skool surfboard I have ever seen, it was wooden, and torquoise.  We eventually put some kitchen handles on it and made it into a makeshift sleigh.  We saw more snow than surf in those days.  It was so light it went like a rocket and was a bit of a danger to man and beast.  Anyway, prior to getting the news of dads passing, I had organised a day taking surf lessons with a friend.  At first I cancelled it.  But then I thought, what am I going to do all day at home?  So I went and it was absolutely freezing and to me the waves were massive but it was fun and silly and the sort of thing dad used to do and would have encouraged. 

Anyway I am back at work now.  My plan is simple.  At least three runs a week.  More if I can.  As much other stuff as I can fit in.  Back to the PT class.  Try to make as much effort as possible to do positive things.  Example.  Tomorrow night is the Twilight Cool Running 5km at the Regatta Centre.  Tomorrow night a friend has invited me for a few drinks and dinner.  Twilight wins, it does not involve late nights, alcohol or missing the last train because I wanted one more glass of champagne and getting stuck in the city, then waking up in her house, hungover and wasting Saturday too.  (Not that I would do all that of course, but well, I might....).  Saturday - swimming laps with a friend who is a good influence in terms of fitness and then breakky with him.  Sunday, long hike in National Park with the gorgeous Jen, our PT class leader.  All good clean pursuits that will keep me busy, stop me thinking negatively and help get my fitness back to where it was what seems like light years ago.