Phew!

"Sit with yourself, and you will discover the universe.

Explore the Universe, and you will discover yourself."

Someone smart said that (i.e.: not me), and it is so true.  I've been on a little voyage of discovery lately and it has been enlightening, sometimes a little scary and really quite wonderful.  The big change I have made is to try and shake off the shackles of expectation.  What people expect.  What the norm is.  What people SHOULD do.  I am happy with the voyage, I am doing it my way and I am learning, learning, learning!!!  And I love learning.  About myself and the world and other people and how we perceive things and how sometimes, some things are best left unsaid and some things are just best done and embraced and no talking is really needed.  And I'm learning about what makes me happy, and what I enjoy and the kinds of people I like to spend time with.  And how to make cheesecake.  

Being outside a lot agrees with me.  Doing stuff with like minded people also agrees with me.  I think I am mellowing in my old age, because just about everything seems to agree with me these days!!!  Anyway I pretty much spent the whole weekend outside, which is one of those things I love.  Another interstate visitor weekend which meant a lot of exploring and this weekend started with a run around the river before breakfast, breakky at The Deli and four hours of climbing up and down stairs at Wentworth Pass.  Went right down to the bottom this time down some very dodgy steps and all that Japanese hiking made it feel very easy indeed.  Beautiful scenery, beautiful day, about a thousand times I remembered how lucky I was to live in this wonderful country.  Japan is beautiful in the countryside but their cities are so full of people and flashing lights and every available space is used up, so I like Australia much better because we have space and there are a lot less of us!! 

Saturday night we had a little cooking class at my place and we each made a dish, so we ended up with a dinner for kings!!  We had a fancy desert, but, I think we earned it!!!  It's so nice to hang around the kitchen cooking, eating, drinking, dancing to the iPod and generally being silly.  I forgot chopping.  I am a master chopper. 

This morning we ran on the local trails around Knapsack and up Lovers Walk, with a detour through the Knapsack Race course, just to make up the Kms.  Joy in running on the trails this morning, much joy.  Then hoofed it into downtown Parramatta to Criniti's for the best garlic prawns and salad and sauvignon blanc and soon it was time for the airport and more goodbyes....which seems to be the way things are going these days!!  Next weekend Canberra, the weekend after Brisbane, and in between I will be plotting my next trip to California via The Cayman Isles....!!!

Big day tomorrow, big changes, lots happening and hopefully lots changing; Fingers crossed!!!

So, I went back to work.

Ha.

Possibly indicative of my mood, I was spotted telling my boss that a certain supplier could "stick it up his ass" to snickers from the rest of the office and mumblings of "she's baaaaack....".....

I sat through a Board Meeting where I suddenly saw two of our Directors as the two Old Guys from the Muppets.  So possibly not the greatest start to being back at work because I giggled a lot to myself.

However it must have been all that crazy sex I had in Japan (haha) because everyone commented on how I looked today, like I was relaxed, younger, happier, etc etc.  So forget botox and just go to Japan.  Ok Ok I didnt have any crazy sex but I just liked writing that and imagining I did.  But obviously hiking in the fresh mountain air and hardly drinking and eating lots of shitake mushrooms is good for ones complexion.

Anyway, have to forget Japan and start planning a new adventure.  And I know what it is.  It is California and then Grand Cayman.  And it will be later this year.  And the California bit will involve hiking and seeing Helen and the Cayman bit will involve seeing Alison and possibly Cuba, cos it is close.  And now that I have the travel bug - oh dear.  I am not sure what will stop me....

But first, THIS WEEKEND - FARK another weekend of firsts.....fark, sometimes I wonder what the hell I am thinking then others I just think YOU GO GIRL. I am kind of at a crossroads with myself at this point in time, not quite sure whether to applaud myself or retreat into the background saying very little.....we shall see!!!!  But all I can say is - another adventure, if I haven't challenged myself enough this year, honestly I will tell you, but I appear to be able to keep the momentum up pretty well on my own.  So this weekend is another new thing happening, and it is fair to say I am having all sorts of shitting myself moments combined with THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT moments combined with WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING moments.  So all totally normal really.

One day, I will die. 

Yes, that is a very mundane thought.  But before I do, I would like to think I stuffed a lot into this life of mine.  I certainly intend to stuff as much in as I can between now and when that happens.  And whilst I do it, I will try and surround myself with people who care about me, and who wish me well and who love me.

Amen :)

As "easy" day hiking on the Komodo Kodo Trail, Japan. 

Last night in Japan....

....what an adventure it has been.

Tokyo, toilets, food, Shinkansen, chopsticks, bento, maps, mountains and sunny trails. Getting told off all the time for forgetting my shoe manners. Having the cleanest bum ever. Loving Dichon and other root vegetables. Crap fashion. Ugly shoes. Tea. Being in the arsehole of nowhere with nothing but a backpack of running gear and Richard. Noodey communal baths. Lovely shampoo. 1970s dodgy hotels. Pickles. Asahi beer in bed every night. Vending machine iced coffee. Sore feet. Hills with twice the elevation of Kedumba. Crazy crazy train stations. Beautiful rivers. The onion restaurant. A couple of million shrines in the mountains. The biggest Tori in Japan. Geisha. Temples. Zen Buddhists. Japanese maples. Azaleas. Crap hair driers. Crazy running clothes. Shiseido. Chicken gizzards and fish guts. Wasabi. More tea. Sake. Loved it all. Loved all of it :)

Pooped

Japan you have so much to offer, but you have totally worn me out. The last day of the hike we were prepared for. We stayed in a Japanese family home the night before and our "conversation" consisted of making appreciative noises over their food and their sake, and jabbing at points on the map, where we'd been. And where we were going. Big mountains, difficult, and slippy were three words bandied about. Richard could talk to them in his Japanese, but I had to do hand signals. Still, I got my washing done and a lot of sake so I got by....!!! But we learnt that the last day was to be the most challenging so far, and there was to be huge steep inclines then more and more and more.

The trails continued to be beautiful and I will never forget the Kumano Kodo journey. On the last day I swear I thought that farking hill could not possibly keep going up - but it did. I thought about bush step hell and how I might have been in it. Imagine 6.5km of bush steps. Nightmare. However eventually it ended, only to be replaced by a very technical rocky downhill...bd careful what you wish for...

On the trails I had lots of time to think and to reflect on my life. Some changes ahead. Some realisations. A lot of questions. Toughest physically few days of my life - mentally too. But some of the most enjoyable and peaceful.

Lots of wonderful experiences in Japan, many many surprises and coming home with a whole new perspective, new direction and very very happy :)

But it's not over yet, so bed now because tomorrow is another jam packed day .

Japanese Trail walking

Is farking hard but very very rewarding. And my observations of the Japs are this. They love their coffee, their beer, and should you be stranded in the smallest village in Japan, there will be a vending machine with lots of beer, lots of coffee and fuck all else. As was evidenced by today's 25km hike up the biggest mountains I've ever come across, only to find this tiny tiny town with three vending machines and a shop that sells eggs, root veg and nothing more. By the way, the eggs are for taking into the hot spring with you in a bag. By the time you are cooked so is the egg, and I presume then you eat it. The whole town is a spa town so the smell of the sulphur is very strong around the river, and being a one street town this means you can smell it anywhere close to the river including our bedroom.. ..But the hot springs are so refreshing. Yeah and now I'm so experienced, I'm doing the noodster thing every time. Last night was my first night working out Japanese footwear protocol. We worked out there were five shoes. One for outside, one for in. One for shower, one for toilet, one for Spa. Mr Japanese host laughed and laughed when I got it wrong...I laughed too, but honestly...five pairs? Pink ones just for a wee wee? And on the singing toilet? With the warmed seat?.....
Again today was beautiful, challenging and exciting. Coming into town at the end of a long day of climbing massive hills with the backpack you bought at the two dollar shop in Emu Plains is kinda weird. Carrying enough gear for a six day hike seems to get mysteriously heavier by the day..... I have worked out I didn't need half the stuff I brought and I really thought I'd travelled light. I really didn't need my hairspray or my makeup bag...honest. i had to hide it from Richard, but i think he saw it....
Could have done with another four of five nitrous oxide patches for my Achilles but the ice bath at lunch helped a lot. Pretty sure I won't be able to restock here. Raw fish and boiled eggs is about it in this place - but if is pretty special and I'm loving it ....

Hiking Japanese style

Today was wonderful. After spending the night in a tiny hotel in Kii Tanabe we got up early for a crazy breakfast of bread, yoghurt, pancetta, strawberries and sausages. On the one plate. After shuffling our luggage to the right spot (which involved wheeling our big cases about 5km round town til we found the right place) we were off on the bus to the Kumano Kudo Trail. Well those crazy Japs know eff all about showing correct elevation on their maps. Fark! Talk about mountains? Really really steep hills relentlessly rolling in one after the other. Despite lots and lots of walking in the big cities, this was exactly what I wanted. For the first time I felt totally relaxed. I felt like someone who had stole something at Tokyo train station running about two km for that bullet train. What an experience!!! But today was so beautiful and peaceful and fun, I just loved every bit of it. For lunch we stopped at a town with about five buildings, it was tiny, with one Ryoken and a vending machine....but the "runch of the day" was amazing. Oh my god these people know all about fresh food. Mountain vegetables, all fresh and totally yummy, chicken, rice, best lunch so far. I say that every day though. Hiked on for about 17km to arrive at the tiny rural village where we would spend the night. Room with futons on the floor, bean pillows and mats on the floor. Dinner was spectacular by the river with the windows open, sitting on the floor. Things lije a whole fish (i ate the head, the tail, the lot). Bath after in the hot springs (yes Joh I nuded up!!) and felt warm for hours after, like being in a sauna. Hair and other bits smell totally wonderful. Tomorrow is 25km and having a closer peek the elevation is kind if scary. But it was so lovely today, challenging enough without wanting it to be over. And the shrines and things to see in the way were fascinating. We even had some running, we found ourselves on a really steep hill but it was all pine needles and soft bark underfoot so we ran down it giggling and laughing and generally being silly.
Sitting here beer in hand, kimono on, wondering how my life has suddenly become so rich and full of wonderful people and experiences. The funny thing is, the people have always been here, I just wasn't paying attention....

Tokyo

Tonight I ate my first oyster. And spat out my first cup of tadpoles garnished with seaweed. No, seriously, it had the consistency of lumpy goo and tasted fishy and rank. The oyster was yum though. The raw fish....nice if smothered in wasabi!

We shopped in all the crazy chaos of Shinjuku and Harajuku today. We did Tokyo Hands and I loved it. I got up and ran before the day started and saw all sorts of things, a homeless man with eight cats all on leads, and a man living in an Ikea box. Despite their love of the marathon, I saw very few other runners, but smelt a lot of drains.

I'm looking forward to getting to the mountains here for clean air and a hike...

In the meantime I am loving the food and giving everything a go, even last night 'parsons nose on a skewer" - that's chicken bum flaps (fried) for the uninitiated....

I managed to buy a pair of high heeled wellies and a petzl headlamp, Tokyo is the craziest place to shop I have ever been.

Next stop a big train ride, crisp clean mountain air and lots of meditation....ommm....

Tokyo

Tonight I ate my first oyster. And spat out my first cup of tadpoles garnished with seaweed. No, seriously, it had the consistency of lumpy goo and tasted fishy and rank. The oyster was yum though. The raw fish....nice if smothered in wasabi!

We shopped in all the crazy chaos of Shinjuku and Harajuku today. We did Tokyo Hands and I loved it. I got up and ran before the day started and saw all sorts of things, a homeless man with eight cats all on leads, and a man living in an Ikea box. Despite their love of the marathon, I saw very few other runners, but smelt a lot of drains.

 I'm looking forward to getting to the mountains here for clean air and a hike.....

In the meantime I am loving the food and giving everything a go, even last night 'parsons nose on a skewer" - that's chicken bum flaps (fried) for the uninitiated....

I managed to buy a pair of high heeled wellies and a petzl headlamp, Tokyo is the craziest place to shop I have ever been.

Next stop a big train ride, crisp clean mountain air and lots of meditation....ommm....

Owls and Shit

Ran with my beautiful son last night. Fabulous, just fabulous.  Things appear to be on the mend in his world which makes me the happiest out of all the wonderful things that have happened of late.

The job - they want to second interview me!!  It went really well!!  I'm pretty excited!!!!  And I won't die if I don't get it, but will be excited if I do.  So that's a great place to be  - especially as I finally got a letter of offer and a contract from my current job - only a couple of years in the making but hey!!  Now it is the Paradox of Choice.....as someone once said.....(but in a totally different concept, the cheeky bugger)....

And that other thing.  Well.  What can I say?  Not much, except a huge big grin from ear to ear.  It's eclipsing the moon at present, that smile.

Three sleeps till Japan!!!  Can't wait.  Two nights in Tokyo, sightseeing in the big city, shopping, eating, drinking, and GOING TO KARAOKE BARS, running round the city in the mornings, chalking up the bars at night....then the peace and tranquility of the Pilgrammage from Tanabe across the mountains.  Now that I am paying attention, I am very very very excited, esp about the hotel on the last night of the hike, which is up on a cliff and underneath is a hot spa in a CAVE!!!  Woo hoo.  And it too has KARAOKE!!!  And in fact an Onsen and a small city in a labyrinth underneath the cliff. Wierd concept, looking forward to seeing this.

Richard has told me he has been doing 10km runs daily.  I don't know whether he thinks I am going to want to run every day AFTER 8 hours of climbing Japanes Mountains and looking at Shrines, but if he does, he is a complete idiot.  I'll be in the bar sipping that Japanese beer and telling war stories. 

Curt and John are very excited because they have AN OWL.  And, as John put it.....HE IS FUCKING BRILLIANT.  Not sure what constitutes brilliance in Owls, but according to John, swooping on your prey without making a sound and catching it comes in first, as does sitting on your clothesline and giving you a death stare when you try to photograph it.   Cos Curt said he got the camera out and the Owls eyes cut right through him with a right fuck off death stare when he tried to take a pic.

So I think I can go to Japan safe in the knowledge that Curt is ok, will be ok, and is making solid plans for his future.  And I have some wonderful things to come back to. :)  All is well.

The BEST weekend

Had THE BEST weekend in as long as I can remember.  And I am a very happy camper right now.  Very happy, very surprised, in fact this weekend came at me from a totally different angle and the total sideswipe was utterly unexpected but totally delightful.

So, in summary.  The Weekend.
First up - dining.
Had the choice on Friday night of fancy Sydney restaurant or small family owned restaurant where they are totally passionate about their food.  Read - Italian hand signalling type of passionate.  Chose the latter. Tastebuds happy with that choice.  Rolled home feeling full and happy.  I didn't think we could match Flower Drum in Melbourne, but it seems we did.  Well, almost.  Flower Drum will be my all time favourite lunch ever in my whole life.  I think I grinned from ear to ear for the entire meal.  Which makes eating difficult, so it was lucky the meal was beautifully simple despite the chopsticks.

Post Hiking - found place with open fire but with people looking at each other unhappily with no food.  Moved next door to Tapas place with comfy sofa, fabulous tapas menu and craft beer.  Spent the afternoon sharing secrets on the sofa and eating and drinking our heads off.  Left with happy, warm, smiley contentedness that was partly related to the exercise endorphins and largely related to the cosy intimacy of the comfy sofa and related tummy pleasing goodies - and the company :)
Saturday night -  Village Indian delights with matching wine - delicious.  Glad we did that massive hike though ;).

Next up - Hiking
Chose the Undercliff Track to showcase the very best of the Blue Mountains.  The nature gods put on the best possible weather conditions for a long hike and the waterfalls were flowing, the lyrebirds were singing and the sun was shining.  Could there be anywhere better in Sydney than a sunlight dappled mountain trail on a Saturday afternoon?  I'm trying really hard to think, but no, there is nowhere better you could be.  And with fabulous company, I guess that is the perfect day.

Finally - The Big Smoke
No visit to Sydney would be complete for an out of towner than a trip to the big smoke so we dutifully made our way to the Oyster Bar to watch the world go by.  Management had a different plan however and found us a table right on the water in the most perfect spot, so clearly the RM Williams country looks pays off in the big city!

The weekend ended with goodbyes, the airport and then lots and lots of introspection on the way home.  How could I have possibly missed these signals for so long?  And what am I going to do about it? 

However, in the meantime, I have Japan to look forward to (five sleeps!!!!) and the excitement of all that plus training for my big race and the possibility of a new job, new company, new life.  For some reason, my life has decided to change gear, step itself up a notch and go full throttle ahead, after a little bit of idling for a while.  That's a great thing for me and I am totally loving it, if not surprised by the alarming pace of it all.  If I had to describe how I feel about it, I would say I am EMBRACING it all, enjoying it, learning from it all and trying to stay compassionate to everyone around me.  And writing it all down so that when I am 70 and have no teeth I can giggle to myself about it all......

Protein Balls

Wow - crazy day.  Actually, today could be and has been a catalyst for a number of rather large decisions both personally and professionally....

But first - home made protein balls are a huge liability in your handbag, especially if the texture isn't right and the glad wrap is a bit loose.  It's fair to say that my new Guess handbag is not looking (or smelling) so great right now.  In fact it looks like someone has taken a dump in it.  And then smeared it around my notebooks, wallet and hairbrush.  Yeah try brushing your hair with protein balls in your brush (just before a first date)....

Thing is, I overdid it on the "good" ingredients (read, the totally WRONG ingredients, the ones with loads of calories).  So my protein balls have very little protein and are laden with dates and nuts and more nuts and berries.  And just a wee bit of protein and cocoa.  And shit loads of coconut.  Nope, don't come to me for a protein ball recipe, that's for sure.

Although despite the codeine I am taking for the Never Ending Fecking Pnuemonia I have to say I am pretty damn regular, if you know what I'm saying.  So maybe I could market them as Laxative Protein Balls?  They are bloody lovely though, and very very filling. 

Anyway.  Work.  Oh Please Lord Deliver Me From These Evil Stupid Fuckwits.  Ok ok, I'm frustrated.  Been working on a project for 2.5 years.  1.5 years ago I say, you know what?  This project is senseless.  If it were my money, I wouldn't do it.  We should get out.

And they said, oh really, do you think so, why is that, listened and then agreed to can it, kaput, goodbye, closed it down.

Actually no, I work for Government so that never happened at all.

So it went like this....we can't do that (because we don't make decisions, we're government), we have to deliver this project, lets pretend we didnt have this conversation.  And on we went.

Now, seriously, 2.5 years into the project, $10m spent, our partner goes, I dont really like the sound of this.  I think this project will make x y and z happen.  And I'm not terribly comfortable with that.

And my response?  Hmmmmm.  Interesting concept 2 weeks from go live, $10m of our money spent later and 2.5 years in the making.  I felt like I was on the set of Star Wars.  Or maybe some other film that was crap and unsuccessful.  So maybe not Star Wars.  Maybe, Weekend at Bernies 3. But seriously.

And I haven't even started on the actual issue behind this, which is like telling Steven King he can't write for shit.  Well, in that realm.  So professionally, there are challenges.  God I love a challenge, but really, this little suite of them make you want to cover your ears and go LA LA LA and rock back and forth in a corner a bit like Carrie (getting the Steven King references in here like a bandit, I am).

And I haven't even started on my handbag story, my Japan theory or the weekend ahead of hiking in the mountains with my interstate visitor who may or may not have a backpack.  Or my still droopy eye.  But it will be a very very big relief to spend this weekend on the trails in the mountains philosophising (is that a word??? is it spelt right??!!) on all this and more with a good friend and by Monday I am sure I will have ALL the answers.  If not, I will have covered some wonderful trails and potentially drank a nice Guinness or two, and talked a load of shite.  Intelligent shite, but shite nonetheless.  Bring on the weekend!!!

Also, I had fun making faces at myself in the mirror this evening when I got home.  And then I looked around to see if anyone was looking.  Which is odd because I live alone.  And then I realised this and made some more stupid faces.  Fuck it felt good.